A Beautiful friendships' end

So there's silence yet you attempt to be within my mind through my expression, my art, but was it you or I who decided for us to part. Decisions decions through time we wish we could change, but through your decion the pain you have caused me will remain the same. For life I thought I had you just as my friend, but as time went on and others entered our life the change in our situation started to begin. I trusted you with not only my mind but obviously mistakenly with my heart, no longer will i love let in another friend to again tear me apart. You never put on that facade you do with others, there was never a sharade we were always real and true to one another. true we made a mistake in thinking we had feelings as more then friends,but with that thought that detioration was next to begin. so you've left something you promised me you'd never do, something I'll never get over completely is our friendship being through. Decisions by you have been made and its far to late to try to turn them about. You wont be real with me anymore, so no need to think about the past and pout. I have to get over the fact that we are through, we are no longer possess any sort of friendship, embrace it there's no me and no you.

My botte opener

I've concealed myself in a bottle with a lid that was sealed by rust not allowing anyone to open and indulge in who I am. I met others and the tried to open my bottle that was filled with a heart and passion for life and love, but had ceased to be given to another. My bottle filled with parts of me that you couldnt read on my label. They pushed me yet my bottle refused to break. I wouldnt allow the thought that a day would come where I would be open and then I met you. My facade is so strong yet so unnecessary with you. you melt my hardened exterior and remind me that I am human, that there is a heart, but I only feel it when i feel your touch or get to look in your eyes. My bottle has been opened by you, and what a free feeling it is. Love and freedom all because of you. Now indulge me from my soul, so once just once i can indulge in your lips.

Life is full of love and loss

Sometimes in life we lose things that are irreplaceable, but the key isn't to be broken by loss, but only to build yourself up, so you wont feel that same loss again. Live and let go because holding on will only make matters worse. Love can be lost, but the love that is loss is overpowered because there's so much more to gain. I've lossed and I've loved and I've been loved and am now. Loss only takes away from you what you allow it to. In every situation remember to love, live, but most importantly laugh, laugh like there's no tomorrow

Tired

apoligies and manogomy two things far from the same. Tired of the light, lies, and air that fills my lungs. Death and darkness is what I wish for. Tired of the stress and pain. Unhappiness, lonliness, hurt, pain, and betrayl must be other ways to spell my name. Done with life and trying to fullfil it, its just not in the cards for me. Untitled I am as well as alone even my best friend has walked out the door. Instead of above I belong under the floor. Silence, darkness, and coldness is what I wish for, so i take this gun and pull the trigger, goodbye

Heart broken i am.

So I fell for someone and I fell hard, but I lied to soften their guilt for their rejection of me. I vowed not to contradict myself and I keep my promises to others so why cant I keep them for myself? This silence of our conflict has not only hurt my heart, but my mind. Heart broken I am, but my love is forever for them. Lies for love? No never lies for self gratification and defeat. They are being held back from the truth, and I already know the outcome, but my love must find out for themself. They refuse to be my love and now they refuse to be my friend, heart broken I am. As our lips almost touched my heart skipped a beat, and the temptation was unbearable, but my love for them would not allow me to go through with it because of their decisions. I've lost my love, but overall which is most important my friend and as I type this unknown literature the tears begin. I cry because that smile for me will cease to exist. Those eyes will only be seen if I pumble myself with my fist. My heart aches and the tears fall for falling in love I've lost it all. So the poems that they read and thought it wasn't about them, but instead it was because I always saw them as more than a friend. My heart is broken and now i fall im done with love done with it all

Continued (story)..............(end)

I said it felt the presence of another. I slowly zoomed out of just seeing you and saw a figure actually a very familiar figure it was Dani from class, but the look on your face was just as priceless as mine. I saw the full picture it was you and Dani, not you and I. Now it was like a tape rewinding and all the things that I never really payed attention to between you two was so bold and profound. It was like glass clashing on the ground, but instead of glass it was my heart something I'd never seen or even allowed others to see, it fell and broke. The pain was indescribable, and then you saw the tears that no one had seen before. I closed the door and never had any intention of opening it again, just like my heart it could never be opened again to anyone. you stood at that door seeing all the signs that I sent you, and then Dani turned you around and kissed you. Little did you know I was watching through the window and sadly to admit it looked just right, but for some reason there were tears streaming down your face. You called that night and I refused to answer. When your name appeared on my caller ID the radio volumed increased, and our song was on "chasing cars by turn around" and as he said "if I lay here, if I just lay here would you lay with me and just forget the world", and then the instrumentals just stabbed at my soul as the razor slit my wrist. Blood poured out of my opening like the lyrics to that song poured the truth out of my soul. Hours passed and I bled out, and I watched my body lay there as my soul rose. I just sat there with my body and finally the cops burst through my front door because I couldn't answer the door myself (apparently my neighbors couldn't take the sound of my favorite song on surround throughout the house). Slowly they opened my bed room door and as they crashed to the floor to check my pulse I just looked at them. The paramedics showed up shortly with their sirens, and of course all the neighbors came out along with Charlie. all the neighbors were shocked and in awe because the lonely kid on the block was the only one in there for weeks because the kids parents went away, so imediately you ran toward the slab they had my body lie on, and you screamed my name "AMARI! AMARI! No!", and as the cops held you back they said "excuse me, are you Charlie Sanders?" "Yes?" you replied "this is for you". It was the lyrics to my favorite song that we song everytime it came on the radio or just in our quiet moments: "We'll do it all Everything On our own We don't need Anything Or anyoneIf I lay hereIf I just lay hereWould you lie with me and just forget the world? I don't quite know How to say How I feel Those three words. Are said too much. They're not enough. If I lay hereIf I just lay here. Would you lie with me and just forget the world? Forget what we're told. Before we get too old. Show me a garden that's bursting into life. Let's waste time Chasing cars. Around our heads. I need your grace. To remind me. To find my own. If I lay here. If I just lay here. Would you lie with me and just forget the world? Forget what we're told. Before we get too old. Show me a garden that's bursting into life. All that I am. All that I ever was. Is here in your perfect eyes, they're all I can seeI don't know where. Confused about how as well. Just know that these things will never change for us at all. If I lay here. If I just lay here. Would you lie with me and just forget the world?" and then in small print under it says "I layed with you and forgot the world, and learned that nothing mattered, but you and that smile, you saw all the brusies and scars, and you truly know that there was no one else in this house, but me. I was no longer alone because I had you. Charlie is the name embeded in my heart and mind. Some may say infatuation, others may say obsession, but Charlie you were always and will always be my love." I said my words to you and as you read it I stood right beside you and song the song in your ear. As the song ended and the instrumentals ceased my ghostly facade disappeared as your tears dropped, but the last words I said before I disappeared was I may be man, but charlie you were what made me super..Bye......

Continued (story)..............

Weeks past and then the day that made me dread my very existance occurred, and that was the start of winter break. I hated it because for weeks you had told me that there was no cell phone reception and no telephone usage period when you went to North Dakota every winter break with your parents. Knowing that I wouldn't see that smile or those eyes besides at night when I looked at the stars or hear that voice drove me insane. You left and you gave me a hug, but I felt this emptiness that I never felt before when your car pulled out of your drive way, and at that moment I knew that I would never be able to fill the void that you left in me. You left and my days felt like eternities. I counted the hours and days until your return, and when it finally did come I knew I had to tell you, because if I didn't I'd die. I couldn't give up, and the truth had to prevail. You pulled into your drive way and ran in the direction of my house, rang my door bell and as I opened it the first thing I heard before I saw anything was "amari" in a low tone, and I looked up and hugged you so tight and it slipped, but I meant it in every aspect of the word and I said "Charlie I missed you so much, man did I miss you" and then you said "I missed you too" and then it finally slipped and I said " you just don't understand I love you so much".......